Well Kurt Cobain may know by now…
But seriously folks, after my last post about dropping the falseness of our egos, I’ve been thinking a lot about death. As you do.
I don’t think I’m afraid of death itself (although I’d be pretty pissed off if it happened anytime soon thank you very much, I hope I still have lots to do and be). What scares me, what none of us can envisage, is the whole thing around perpetual peace and harmony afterwards. I mean (whisper it) wouldn’t it get a bit, er, boring…?
Buddhists teach that we don’t have to wait until we’re dead to experience that state of perpetual tranquility, that Nirvana can be found during life, and entered into after death. It’s described as a state of bliss or peace.
The Christian words Heaven or Paradise are in some ways more human, the first often being used as a synonym for sky (ancient pagan sky gods, anyone?), and the second with its connotations of the Garden of Eden before naughty old Eve did her thing with the apple and got herself and poor blameless Adam chucked out. But again, the whole perfection thing of eternal life is a bit worrying. It’s completely alien to us.
It’s like the very first time you hear a piece of beautiful music. The music itself is just as magnificent the second, third and fourth times you listen to it, but to you it begins to become less awe-inspiring. You begin to take it for granted.
Our whole experience of life is of contrast. We know what is beautiful because we can compare it with what is ugly. We understand joy because we are also intimately acquainted with sorrow. What if there were no ugliness, no sorrow? How would we recognise life as perfect?
I think that’s partly why we find it so difficult to drop our ego selves and uncover the essence of who we are, even for short periods of time. It seems like such a risk, such a loss.
Image by Tony the Misfit
(gotta love a name like that)
Elsewhere:
Via a comment on Lucy’s blog, I recently discovered omfghardware, by Howard, who works in a hardware store. Each entry is like a tiny, perfect meditation.
And a funny end note: just before publishing this post, I used the search function on my blog to remind myself what I might have said before about death. (I don’t like to bore you by repeating myself, dear reader.) The results came up under an enigmatic heading that made me smile: “You searched for Death”. Well no, not really…
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
LOL. I was thinking about this yesterday, haha.
You know how science can prove that there are, like, 11 dimensions or whatever – I figure that there must be some extra super dooper ongoing discovery happening for ongoing nirvana to keep being nifty.
Or some crazy change in humanity so that we are suddenly transformed and have beginner’s mind every second. Like fish, with their four second memories but just perpetually
well you know, i always say heaven is perpetual baseball games and choir practice. And since baseball is pretty much a game of failure, it does make for an interesting understanding of what heaven will be like…
I was living in India when I found out through Tibetan Buddhism, I think, that enlightenment could only be reached during a lifetime. This simplified my life greatly. I just had to focus on the day at hand — and not postpone.
Death is another matter. I will easily say that I am ready to die until I go for my yearly cancer checkup and the doctor says, Oh-Oh, I see something I do not like.
=I recently saw some interesting pages on the ego in Anthony de Mello’s Walking on Water.
As to heaven, I don’t think a dying person feels bored at the idea of going there
Interesting, different post, Tess
hmmmm. my own mind is conjuring up too many sunday school images of clouds and angels and harps – boring!! i know it’s perfectly natural for us to think about dying and perfection, but i think we just have to trust that we don’t have a clue!
i used to be quite afraid of death – all that hellfire and brimstone, you know. now i’m with you, i don’t think i fear it so much, but really hope it holds off for a good long time since i just now seem to be getting a bit better at this living thing
@Sue: yes, we would be fish, that’s a good one, I could live with that!
@Towanda: I have a great vision now of singing baseball teams.
@Claire: no I certainly agree that a dying person would prefer that to the other option. I’ll take Ceiling Cat over Basement Cat any time.
@lucy: I’m actually quite happy not having a clue – in so many senses!
We are in kindergarden compared to where we’re going. The interesting thing is that what is beyond this life is part of nature too! Suppose yourself a caterpillar talking this over with other caterpillars, what will it be like, the next realm? Well it will be totally different in butterfly land, and yet still seamless with who we are and with nature’s ways, I would suppose. I think we are taught there is some sort of supra-heavenly realm separate from nature. Once you stop thinking like that, even the play of imagination changes its scenarios, because there is a natural trust in nature and her manifold possibilities.
As a little girl I wore dresses with bows at the back which I had to have my mother tie for me each day. And I used to worry what would I do when I grew up and she was not there to tie the bows! Worry about what we will gain or lose in the next realm, I’m sure is quite similar.
I just can’t get past Kurt Cobain yet. I’d never read his suicide note until today, when I followed your link.
I’ll have to come back later and comment on the rest of the post, as I’m a bit choked up right now.
@Jane, I’m sure there will always be someone to tie our bows.
@Polli, I’m sorry, perhaps I was wrong to use Kurt Cobain as an opener to this post. I hope he has now found whatever it is we can’t envisage.
No, I’m glad you used the Kurt Cobain opener. I just have a very strong sense of connection to him for some reason, but that’s another story.
Now that I’m back I realize how much wonderful humor there is in this post! I couldn’t even see it the first time.
Strangely, this quote was on The Website of Unknowing this morning:
“I used to think that paired opposites were a given, that love was the opposite of hate, right the opposite of wrong. But now I think we sometimes buy into these concepts because it is so much easier to embrace absolutes than to suffer reality. I don’t think anything is the opposite of love. Reality is unforgivingly complex.”
~Anne Lamott
All of this is interlacing mysteriously for me: the sadness and then the laughter, how completely different this post hit me from one hour of the day to another, the humor of death, the Lamott quote. This post strikes me as a koan, almost: How would we recognize life as perfect if there were no ugliness and sorrow? It’s unimaginable, and yet it’s not. Like you say, it’s completely alien to us. And yet, it seems to me there is something eternal “inside” that DOES know this perfection, without an opposite. That “something” is just bigger than the brain, and bigger than words.
Tess,
I like this post for some reason:)…..perhaps because I think it’s a healthy way to live, that is being aware that this is NOT all there is. This wonderful ocean of life we live in – wouldn’t it be a waste of God’s energy to just cast us aside? I’m eager as in – a loooooonnnnnggggg time from now – to see what’s next in store for me.
xoxo
Pollinatrix, I love that Anne Lamott quote, and yes there is something eternal inside that lives alongside.
SS: ‘wonderful ocean of life’ – great phrase. I’m wondering about a post asking people what kind of fish they are!