Magpie Girl’s latest *8things topic reminds me of that old TV advertisement (for what I can’t recall) in which a woman asks a New Yorker how to get to Carnegie Hall. “Lady, you gotta practice” he responds.
Magpie’s question invites us to explore eight areas where we need to practice. Mine are a mixture of natural talents and things I really have to work hard at to lead any semblance of reasonable life.
Writing
I’ve always loved writing. I’m pretty good at it. Still goes downhill when I stop for a while. The search for just the right word takes longer, the focus drifts.
Visual Stuff
I have a good “eye”. (Actually I’m very short-sighted, but you know what I mean.) But I tend to rely on the same old visual tricks over and over, and I don’t take enough time or patience to learn what my camera will do, or what a new mixed media technique might offer.
Speaking
I enjoy public speaking and teaching big groups. It’s the show-off in me. But so many times I’ve been caught out thinking I can coast, fly by the seat of my pants, and those are the occasions it doesn’t quite hit the right note. I need to plan my content more fully. I need to rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. Then I can add in some spontaneity without worrying.
Cooking
I’m a pretty good cook. Heaven knows I love food! But my repertoire is small and a lot of what I do is instinctive. I’d be a much, much better cook if I understood some of the chemistry behind the recipes and learned some basic classic techniques that can be applied to different dishes. I don’t cook as much as I’d like because I live alone and don’t entertain as much as I’d like – see next point!
Home-making
As anyone who has had the misfortune to visit me will be aware, I am at best a humdrum housekeeper. I’m so easily distracted; I put things down without realising and lose them. Items sit for weeks on my stairs waiting to be taken up. Once something has been in a certain spot for a while (like two minutes!) it becomes invisible to my eye and is joined by other items. I start projects and leave them lying around unfinished. The mess gets so bad I can’t have people round. What I really need to practice is the art of putting things away once I’ve finished with them. It’s a habit, and a habit I need desperately to get into.
Reading
“Reading?” I hear you say. How can I need to practice reading? Well it’s partly related to the home-making point above. I start a book, lose interest momentarily then put it down and lose it. I’m also a very slow reader. So I need to practice focusing and speeding up.
Parking
I’m almost entirely incapable of parallel or reverse parking. It’s pathetic. Such a stereotypical girlie thing. So I need to find out the mechanics and then practice. Trouble is, I’m completely uninterested in doing so. Until it comes to making a fool of myself in front of someone again that is…
Small talk
Many people seem to think small talk is beneath them. I’ve told myself that at times. Trouble is, I’m just not very good at it. Small talk is only a device for getting to know others so you can: a) have a pleasant time; and/or b) so that you can move on to deep, meaningful conversations. Next time I’m with a group I’m going to make a point of exchanging small talk with someone I don’t know so well rather than sticking like glue to close friends.
So there are my eight. Do you want to play?
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
A neat blog, Tess. I’ll have to think of the 8 things I need to practice. Juggling would be one. Spanish and German. Yogic breathing. Reiki. Dr Bach’s Flower Medicines. Soufflés, quiches & salads. Cosmic creative visualization.
What do you think?
Oh how I resonate with some of your choices — most particularly the home-making and the cooking. Thanks to my cats, I am improving on the former — I have to! — but I would be better off health-wise, if I cooked for myself more often. I should practice turning off the tv and computer rather than sit mind-numbed in front of them. Setting and completing agendas for the day is another related item to practice. I could practice filing and clearing clutter from my desk instead of letting it sit for ages. I would practice getting to sleep earlier — especially now when my late night favorite shows are on hiatus. I need to practice balancing my chequebook weekly. Finally, I need to revive my practice of letter-writing. I have always been known for my letters and newer friends would appreciate that sharing. Well, that’s 8 for me. I could add practicing the opposite of procrastination …
Tess, much enjoyed this post, would love to hear you give a speech on any topic prepared or unprepared ((-: What I wouldn’t mind learning or improving: (1) reading fiction (2) enjoying holidays (3) computer collage work (4) zazen at home (5) photo essay writing (6) roller-blading (7) hiking (8) group dynamics
Claire: I love your list and would like to know more about cosmic creative visualisation.
Barbara: I’m glad this resonates. The TV isn’t much of a problem for me in terms of mind-numbing, but the computer definitely is! Cheering you on with the letter-writing as well, proper letters are very precious.
Kigen: great list, especially roller-blading. Have you been? I’m too nervous to try!
Thank you for sharing your 8 Things. So interesting, a mix of no surprises (e.g., reading, visual stuff) and surprises (reading). I’ve started my own list; here are the first four:
1) Spontaneity — sounds like an oxymoron to practice spontaneity, but I’d like to get better at just dropping everything to enjoy a few moments or even a weekend of fun & connection. I usually feel like I have to “get my house in order” before I can leave home and my other commitments.
2) Talking — I find this very difficult though I can be wordy with my writing. Unless I’m with very close friends, I’m a bit insecure about speaking without a script.
3) Contemplation — I’m still really struggling with this. I think I first heard the phrase “monkey mind” from you, Tess. Need I say more?
4) Dreaming — call it dreaming, goal-setting, or being hopeful that I can control some elements of my future, I need to practice this.
Actually, I’m on a bit of a roll so I may as well finish the list:
5) Trusting myself. I’m 49 years old after all, and should have learned a few things by now.
6) Writing, writing, writing. It is NEVER, EVER easy for me. Words don’t flow — I have to pry them out and then rearrange them in x to the n times — for nearly every sentence! (OK, bit of an exaggeration but that’s what it feels like.)
7) Not worrying so much about the impression I make. (Hmmmm… could 6 & 7 be related?)
Thank you, Tess. For practicing some of your gifts on us.
Tess, thanks for your enthusiasm on roller-blading! The paved Hudson River path I walk and bike on has many roller-bladers who whiz past with those rhythmic swinging of the arms used in speed skating on ice, gorgeous to watch! Chances of me doing it are smaller than they used to be, since a local store that rented the roller-blades and instructions for novices, went out of business. But its fun even so to be biking alongside the skaters, I sometimes merge with their rhythms and move along with them.
Elaine: I loved that you practised your spontaneity by finishing the list as you went along! Trusting yourself – so many of us find that difficult, don’t we?
kigen: Last time I was in NY (years ago) was kind of around the beginning of the roller-blading thing, and I saw someone hitch a lift by holding on the back of a van. So dangerous – and so fun! It does look so beautiful.
I’m teasing a little, Tess, but it is true too, that I feel like I must defend the good name of roller-blading, which rarely is about hitching to the back of trucks, though I have seen that too, very dangerous, and kids also hitch on skate boards, yikes! Roller-blades, if anybody wants to know, are like roller skates except that they have only one row of fairly narrow wheels. I took a photo today (which I’ve linked below) of a brave (Asian) mom and her three daughters. The girls were all on bicycles, only the mother was on roller-blades. In fact most roller-bladers I see on the Hudson bike path are women, and I really think that is because the rhythmic swinging out of the arms and legs, just like an ice skater, is maybe not very macho to young boys. Here’s my photo, taken at one of very few intersections on the path where we all had to stop for a moment —
http://earlywomenmasters.net/roller_blade_mom.html
- kigen
Great photo, kigen!
i could just about commandeer your list except for the homemaking thing and parking. i’m actually pretty good at both of those
although for homemaking i have had to practice not being OCD or grumpy when others mess up my tidy space. i’m all for a little mess, but clutter will make me come undone before it manages to overtake the space. be mindful, however, on the parking thing that i am used to doing it American-style and might appear a little clumsy when operating on the “wrong” side of the road! 
small talk is something that really amazes me when someone does it effortlessly. i was at the hair salon a few weeks ago and the technician working in the next chair talked non-stop for hours about pretty much nothing. it was indeed an art to behold.
so, hmmmm, what would i add to my list? yoga and consistent healthy eating, i think. i feel so much better when i practice both!
Thought provoking, as always, Tess! Hummm…. my list would be
1) finish what I start, be it a daily task or a quilt. DS1 has waited 10 years for his quilt and I still have only one block made. I have many partly made quilts, too. My mother used to say I was the only person she’d ever seen who actually interrupted herself while doing things. Yikes!
2) put things back where I got them. Should be easy, right?
3) I need a cleaning routine for the house. Sigh! Glad to find I’m in good company!
4) daily walk, weather permitting. The fresh air here where there are so many trees is good!
5) make better use of time. I can sit, read, and hours pass. I’m trying to simplify, but I cannot donate a magazine without looking at it again first. Time slips away.
6) get out more. I’m happy as a clam when at home. Are clams happy?
7) organize photos from years past. Do I ever need to make time for this. Is that practising?
I just avoid situations that would require me to parallel park!!
Cheers!
This is a nice list of things to practice! Many of the things on my list would be the same as yours: writing, cooking (although actually, I’m more into baking bread…), small talk, speaking…
Have a great day!
I think I’ll play – love your list, hear so much of myself (like others) in it. I guess that seems to me to be a gift as well, we are never alone in knowing we need practice, as ever Tess, grateful and blessings to you in pondering the practice.
@lucy: I could do with a little smidge of your OCD!
@Barbara Anne: I like your list. I think your mother just didn’t know the right people – I interrupt myself doing things all the time. And like you, I’ve wondered whether clams are happy. How can you tell?
@Jarkko: welcome to this space and thanks for your comment. Mmmm, bread-making, haven’t done that for years. The smell is so wonderful, I must have another go.
@Rachel: thank you, perhaps it’s easy to think we are alone in something when we never are. Sigh.