It’s been exactly one week since I left my job. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:
- Home-made BLTs with fresh mayo and crusty bread taste so much better than bought ones.
- Going out for a brisk 20 minute walk in fresh air and gorgeous sunshine each day makes me feel good and counteracts the BLTs.
- There are polite and helpful railway staff! I had to cash in my annual travel ticket and the guy went to great trouble to check exactly how much I would get refunded and when the cheque would be sent on. He gave me his details and an alternate contact name in case I had queries later.
- I have a new postman. He wears a floppy navy canvas hat with his uniform. Very fetching.
- I have to create more rituals and structure in my day. There’s a danger the days will bleed into each other. I’m especially going to look at my Sabbath practices, to make the Sabbath special.
- The morning pages are working, at least if my grumpiness at writing them the last couple of days is anything to go by. Definitely dredging up some useful stuff, even if it’s not very pleasant.
- I underestimated how much my job took out of me, especially over the last month which was phenomenally busy and intense. I must have been living on caffeine, sugar and adrenaline, because this week I’ve crashed. It’s as it everything’s caught up with me, and I’ve been sleeping nine or ten hours each night plus napping after lunch. I wonder how many of us live our lives close to burn-out.
So although I miss some of my colleagues, what I’m thinking of as the ‘adjustment week’ has been good. My cats seem pleased to have me home (Lucy has presented me with not one but two dead baby rats this week…). I’ve caught up with some friends and generally had a relaxed time. So onward we go!
Image by kaylhew
Elsewhere:
I am delighted that regular commenter kigen has started a new blog. Called Bulletins from Immortality, it is a beautiful, meditative space which kigen describes as “spiritual insights gleaned from the prose and poetry of Emily Dickinson’s nature mysticism, accompanied by notes, photo illustrations, commentary”. One snippet I’ve been interested to learn is that Dickinson often wrote on scraps of paper. This is a lovely blog so far and I commend it to you.
And Magpie Girl has me all of a spin as she talks about how difficult women seem to find it to ‘name’ ourselves with authority. To say “I am a writer” or “I am a painter” or whatever. You can read what she says here.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Blisschick 04.24.09 at 5:32 pm
This is good stuff — especially that first lesson!
It seems to me that you need to give yourself some time to melt into a sort of healing and recovery process.
Yet, it can get dangerous, this nebulous, no-form approach to our days and weeks. Perhaps a “deadline?” Tell yourself you are simply going to dive into a serious time of healing for x many days or weeks (or even — gasp! — months), and just start playing with ideas about structure and purpose all those very serious (ha!) things.
Just some ideas. I’ve been through this. It can be tough but it is beyond rewarding to learn how you really live your time when it belongs to no one else.
P.S. OF COURSE you are “WRITER!” I hear you ROAR!
Liz 04.24.09 at 9:53 pm
Chickens
Kel 04.25.09 at 1:49 am
the image of the empty calendar is a poignant addition to this post
being comfortable in that empty space takes time
being comfortable without a day-job identity takes more time
being comfortable just being is a rarity
may you be comfortable
i would be interested to know more about your Sabbath practices
especially now as everyday may seem the same
lucy 04.25.09 at 4:19 am
lovely lessons indeed. i am so delighted you have this opportunity. i also totally understand the bleeding of days together. having just completed my official “day job” last week and following it by a week away, i have no doubt that i will wake up monday morning and think i should head for the bus. i love the idea of rituals…and i hope you will consider blisschick’s words re: rest. no doubt you have earned a time to just crash.
thank you for the links. i look forward to checking them out. selfishly, i am adoring seeing you more often around the net.
is it time for more morning pages?!??!?!
Tess 04.25.09 at 12:31 pm
@Blisschick: Thank you for these helpful, practical tips. And thank you even more for the PS. ROAR!
@Liz: Eggs! I should perhaps explain that Lizzie, who is my sister, is keen for me to adopt some ex-battery chickens now I have the time to care for them. Perhaps I could feed them to my cats…
@kel: You hit the nail on the head on the question of the day-job identity. I do like to have a role to play, so this is a good challenge to be myself, not the role. I’ll probably do a post about Sabbath practices soon.
@lucy: I must also be careful not to spend all day glued to the net. There is so much to explore… And as well as morning pages snippets perhaps I might manage to post occasionally to Pilgrim’s Moon.
Barbara 04.25.09 at 9:46 pm
Tess, you are more together than I am. My days still bleed into one another. If I can procrastinate, I will. I even procrastinate eating! We do need some kind of ritual and structure to our days. It is so difficult for me to do this. So terribly difficult. It is as if I require some external body to tell me to do something. I don’t have the status within myself to organize my life. Maybe I am just in recovery after all those years of being a good, little, responsible girl. And the computer sucks my life away, too! I was without a computer for a few days and I was not at all surprised at what I got accomplished and the energy it gave me. Unfortunately, my cyberdude got my new computer finished a day sooner than promised.
Tess 04.26.09 at 4:39 pm
Barbara, I’ve been thinking about your comment. I also procrastinate, horribly. Sometimes I can hardly believe how long I’ve left something. I suspect those of us who procrastinate do so for different reasons – fear, embarrassment, rebellion. I know that for myself I procrastinate things I want to do as much as those I don’t, and I’m still working that one out!
Abbey of the Arts 04.28.09 at 3:55 pm
Lots of wonderful awareness and insight here Tess. I am so thrilled for you on this journey and seeing what you discover. Rituals are great to help create containers for your time and intentional transitions between activities. I love the idea of offering yourself extended time to rest and heal. What incredible energy will rise from this place of renewal!
claire 04.30.09 at 7:29 pm
I find the morning pages a wonderful companion leading to unexpected paths.