On Saturday I took my first official step along the Benedictine path for which I have long felt affinity: I made my petition to become a probationary Oblate of the monastic communities at Turvey Abbey. In a lovely symmetry, a friend made her full oblation at Mass the same day, in a very moving ceremony.
You can find out more about all this my post here. Briefly, a Benedictine oblate is someone who lives a normal life (whatever that is!) in the world whilst formally affiliated to a particular Benedictine monastery, and who follows the spirit of the 6th Century Rule of St Benedict of Nursia.
So I am now what I might refer to as an “L-plate oblate”, and if all goes well in around two years I make my full oblation.
I made my petition at Vespers (evening prayer) on Saturday during an oblate weekend attended by those from Turvey and other monasteries.
During Vespers, we sang Psalm 23, which contains the lines
O gates, lift high your heads;
grow higher, ancient doors.
Let him enter, the king of glory!
This verse (which is repeated twice) struck me forcibly. I was being asked to lift high my head, to expand my heart, for this new part of my journey.
When the time came, the two superiors, Sr Zoe and Br John, stood in front of the altar and I stepped forward to stand in front of them. I was shaking and my heart was pounding. Now, bear in mind that I had to say just one sentence and that I’m used to speaking in public. But this was different; this really meant something, and I was very nervous.
This is the wording and format:
Sr Zoe: What do you ask?
Tess: I ask to be admitted to fraternal union with the monasteries of Our Lady of Peace and of Christ our Saviour, to try your way of life as an extern oblate.
Sr Zoe: This will be granted to you if you are ready to listen to God’s Word as it is communicated to you through Holy Scripture, through the Rule, and through any guidance given to you here.
Br John: My brothers and sisters, let us pray to God the almighty Father for the church, for our monasteries and for this sister of ours who today asked to begin her probation, in order to serve Christ and his Church with greater commitment, according to the spirit of the Rule of our holy father Benedict.
Sr Zoe: O God, from whom every vocation comes, look kindly on your servant and grant that this sister who wants to share our life may know your will, and that we may all be strengthened in your service. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.
Then she kissed me, handed me a copy of the Rule, Br John shook my hand and I went back to my seat.
The strange thing is, I didn’t expect this step to make much difference. I’ve been associated with Turvey for years; I’m familiar with the Benedictine rule and I’m currently studying it more deeply. But it has made a fundamental difference to the way I feel. The best way to describe it is a sense of belonging that I simply have not known before. As Br John put in my card: “And about time too!”
So I’m very happy with how fitting this seems, and I’ll end by saying thank you to Sr Miriam and Sr Judith, who “run” the oblates. I appreciate your friendship more than I can easily say.
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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
Congratulations, Tess! What a big and wonderful step you have taken. What an amazing feeling, indeed — the feeling of finding place, of being accepted and taken in, of filling that space of longing in your heart. And thank you for sharing your contemplations on the Rule. Much peace to you!
How blessed indeed that you have found the place to “stabilize” your commitment to Benedictine spirituality! I admire you in this. May this begin a long period of mutual enrichment for you and Turvey Abbey!
A beautiful post Tess. I too am always struck by the lines ‘Grow higher ancient doors’. It’s a huge invitation and I am so glad to be sharing the journey with you. Proficiat! – as we say in the monastery!
Congratulations Tess! Welcome to this community that ripples across the world. I was moved by what this meant to you, I completely understand that feeling. A shower of blessings upon you.
I wish you well on this path, my friend.
Congrats, Tess! I loved your description of this process. Thanks for writing and keep it up!
How wonderful for you! I cannot wait to hear where God will take you in all of this. Congratulations, Tess!!!
Wow and congratulations! A wonderful post and description of a great event in your life. May your new steps on an already familiar path be blessed in every way!
Congratulations! Blessings on you, your journey, and those you join with!
i was very touched to read this. there is a beautiful tenderness and really sacred feeling here. it sounds like you have been invited into a wonderful community. thank you for sharing this experience with us and i look forward to continuing this journey alongside you (close while far away
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Thank you all so much for these warm and encouraging comments, they mean a very great deal to me. Lucy’s remark “close while far away” sums it up for me. (Except for you, Miriam – “close and close”
)
What a beautiful post. I’m new to your site, but looking forward to learning about your journey.
.Pam, welcome, so pleased to have you visit and comment. I’m going to head over now and check out your blog
How beautifully moving. I love when holy surprise happens, what a gift and blessing. Peace and congrats dear one.
Congratulations and Blessings!!
Tess – huge congratulations on making your petition. I can only aspire to follow where you have already been. Such a moving post and thank you for sharing…..
with love & pax
Sharon xx
Tess, I’m so happy that you are following your calling as you understand it to be and that your step out in faith has echoed deeply within you. I hope to walk alongside you, too.
Blessings!
Rachel, Towanda, Sharon, Barbara Anne, thanks to all of you so much for your comments, which I’m sorry not to have acknowledged before, I’ve been away for a few days.
Hello, Tess. May I also add my words of support and happiness for you — albeit late. Thank you for sharing another stage of your journey with us. I have “The Rule of Benedict: Insights for the Ages” (by Sr. Joan Chittister) in my bedside table but it’s been a few months since I read the commentary for the day. I don’t know why — it provides such practical guidance for the day, whether I’m at work or at home. I think I shall return to my 5 minutes of contemplation with this book in the morning.
Tess, I’m late again, but I wanted to add my heartfelt best wishes to you for the journey you have embarked upon. You describe the making of your petition so beautifully. Thank you.
How moving this is, Tess. And beautiful.
When you wrote: I did not expect this step to make much difference… But it has made a fundamental difference in the way I feel…, this reminded me of Teresa of Avila who still had doubts till the day of her vows, but loved to have joined the order from the moment she took them.
For years, Joan Chittister’s Rule of Benedict was my bedside table book. I dreamed to have it become part of me… It has not
Interestingly, however, suddenly I follow several Benedictine affiliated blogs. What a treat! I hope some of it rubs on me.
Many blessings on you, Tess.
@claire, thank you for finding this old post and commenting on it so beautifully, which of course gave me occasion to re-read what I’d written and relive the experience.
And Elaine and Barney, just in case you ever visit these comments again, I apologise for my total lack of graciousness in responding to you at the time!
Dear Tess.
I have just found your blog and find it really interesting. Thank you for this beautiful post… I am looking forward to start my own Benedictine journey as a probationary Oblate of Holy Cross Monastery, Northern Ireland. That will happen in October this year and I can’t wait to get there again. I love this small community of monks and the wonderful peaceful atmosphere in the Monastery.
I am preparing for the day by studying the Rule, praying the Divine Office and doing my Lectio Divina every day. It has given an important structure to my day and I see myself as a Benedictine now.
Hi Tille, thank you for your comment and welcome to my blog. I love this sense of journeying that we share here. At Turvey, we have been doing a study course on the Rule, shared with a partner and on a private website. I have to say, though, that I have been the worst study partner ever! I plan to start again when the course re-starts.
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