photo credit: alicepopkorn
The moment I heard the phrase guerrilla compassion I loved it. I read about it recently in Wayne Muller’s excellent book Sabbath Rest.
He writes in the context of the ancient tradition of giving a Sabbath blessing:
Sharon Salzberg suggests we practise guerrilla compassion – silently blessing people in line at the bank, at the supermarket, in the cars next to us in traffic. Each blessing a tiny Sabbath, a secret sanctuary offered to a hurried and unsuspecting world.
So I’ve been trying it, mostly on my train and tube (subway) commute.
I started by blessing lots of people each day. This one, that one. I would look at them for a few seconds, and mentally say May you be happy, may you be at peace.
Didn’t do anything. I was going for quantity, not quality.
So then I started blessing only two or three people each day. I would look around, wait until someone caught my eye who I felt some connection with, some affinity, then focus on them with gentleness before mentally blessing – May you be happy, may you be at peace.
The effect was interesting. Occasionally someone would glance around and catch my eye and smile – you know what it’s like when you feel someone staring at you. A few times I felt a deepening of connection.
But even so… it seemed a little shallow.
So I’ve begun trying something different. Blessing people I feel no affinity with. People, in fact, toward whom I feel instinctive dislike. Deliberately choosing the wide-boy City banker, the braying arrogant lawyer, the over made-up girly girl. May you be happy, may you be at peace.
And this is really stretching me. But it’s impossible to set deliberate compassion in motion for someone while feeling contempt for them. I’ve begun to remember not only faces but details: the bitter lines around someone’s mouth, the patch on the jaw missed while shaving in a hurry, the faint sour morning smell of last night’s alcohol.
I could barely tell those City types apart before – all those white boys in their co-ordinated shirts and ties. Now I’ll bless someone in the morning and wonder later how “my” banker is doing.
It’s an experiment I’m learning from. Whether the recipients feel any different is doubtful, but it’s puncturing my good opinion of myself nicely while giving me those tiny oases of peace.
And wouldn’t it be great if lots of us went out and indulged in a little guerrilla compassion? Why not try it? Let us know how you get on.
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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Tess, thanks for sharing this utterly beautiful and simple idea. And I’m so interested in what you’ve been feeling/learning from it. Would love to hear about it again in a month or so! peace, christine
I think this may be the way to build the connection you described in your Poverty Day post (which really impressed me, too — so sorry for not commenting but I’m back at work which means my “deep” blog reading and commenting is reserved for weekends.)
Thank you for challenging me in ways I need to grow.
PS. I love the photos you feature in the upper right of your home page. So evocative. Are they are a rotation?
Sorry I meant “are they on a rotation or cycle?” They seem to change every day or so.
This sounds like a page modified from the Buddhist practice of “sending” Metta (a word which roughly translates as “lovingkindness”). The four traditional Metta phrases are:
May you be safe from all harm
May you be peaceful and happy
May you be healthy and strong
May you live your life with ease and joy
Those phrases are recited silently to oneself during meditation as one focuses on an image of the person or persons to whom one is sending Metta.
It is in fact remarkably effective for cultivating a general attitude of compassion towards all beings when done as a consistent practice.
What a wonderful practice. I am SURE I will learn much from it. And thanks to A, I have words to use in blessing.
Quite coincidentally, I wrote something quite different about Sabbath today on my blog. We must somehow be wired together!
Tess, you and your journey are an inspiration to me. I wish to live as a blessing to others, whether they know it or not! Guerilla compassion, indeed!
As I pray for others daily it’s an increasingly broad group of people – those who need healing, those who are caregivers, those who love someone who is ill, etc – and I trust God to credit those prayers and my concern to all who need them. Guerilla prayer?!
A from MN, thank you for that prayerful blessing. Lovingkindness is a a wonderful and healing word.
@Blisschick – I shall report back in a while!
@Elaine – I think this probably is a way to build connection, yes. It isn’t a connection that can be tested, but perhaps that’s not a bad thing. On the pictures, this template I’m using has a multimedia box which you can use to house a video, custom code items or rotating images. So I uploaded a set of vintage monastic photos. I can’t quite work out the ‘rule’ by which they change. Sometimes if I just refresh the page they do, or if I click on another tab, sometimes not.
@A – yes I suspect this might be heavily LovingKindness influenced. Well spotted. It’s a concept I find extremely valuable and challenging.
@Barbara – not for the first time we’ve written on similar subjects – I’ll be heading over to ‘your place’ with interest to read what you’ve written/
@Barbara Anne – what you say reminds me of an encounter with an Orthodox priest some years back. He told me that on one festival each year (I forget which) each Orthodox priest during the celebration of the mass remembers in his spoken prayer every person he’s ever been asked to pray for. It can take a long time!
“guerilla compassion” what a terrific idea! Blessing those whether they want it or not, whether they expect it or know it or want it or what!! GC is something I’ve done before in my life but never really had a name for it. It, I agree with you, is particularly life-changing when deciding to bless those you normally would NOT like to have much to do with! Thanks for the post.
xoxo
a beautiful post Tess and a wonderful invitation. I often practice something similar, albeit less intentionally focused on those I dislike. But often for the tired looking person on the bus, the homeless person asking for change, the irritable cashier. It does change me in ways that would be lovely to tend to with even more awareness. I would love to hear more as this unfolds for you.
SS and Christine, thank you, I’m glad this resonated with you both.
It seems your words have hit me at just the right time. Thank you Tess. (and A)
So there is a name for it! I also do this with sirens: ambulances, fire, police. I pray for everyone – the patient, his/her family, the paramedics, the medical team at the hospital; the incident, the firies, the police.
I think that prayer is a subversive activity. No one can stop you doing it. No one needs to know you are doing it. No one knows when you are doing it. And, I believe, it can have I-M-P-A-C-T!
Blessings and bliss
what a great post, tess! i remember reading something similar in jack kornfield’s “wise heart” and then checking out sharon salzberg’s site, i see the buddhist connection which A so wonderfully brought forth. i love the name “guerilla compassion” and find that i do it often as others have suggested…the person on the bus, the mother with the screaming child (although that may be more for me), sirens and the like.
i love miss eagle’s description of prayer as a “subversive activity”. it really appeals to the rebellious side of me
again, thank you for this wonderful reminder of a great practice. keep us posted!
What beautiful idea… In the past when I first learned about Metta I would remember to do this more often, but I think I will try to start again. I am always seeking a way to bring my morning practice of prayer and mediation throughout the day.
Isn’t it amazing how you can redefine a word like “guerrilla” with all of its terrible connotations and make it fresh and clean? A “subversive” act, that!
@Rachel – glad this came at the right time.
@Miss Eagle – I agree with your comment on the subversitve nature of this – as do other commenters, clearly!
@Lucy – rebellious? you?
@Epiphany Girl – thank you. I love this redefining of words. Another example I enjoy is ‘crone’ as an honorary title for an older woman of wisdom, rather than an insult.
This is a really super idea! I am challenged, and will certainly put it into practise…for myself, I would like to mentally say the words “I ask God to bless you, in the name fo the Father, Son and Holy Spirit”, so that it is grounded in my faith ~ I will begin tomorrow!
Thanks for posting this…
AR xx
Thank you Autumn Rose.