I was strangely heartened recently to read of the terrible pain and doubt felt by Mother Teresa during her life of extraordinary service.
Why? Because if someone can be assailed by such unbearable doubts and bear them, can still get up every morning, put one foot in front of the other and carry out work that would be impossible for most of us, then that is a huge triumph of the human spirit.
She felt that her life’s work was an answer to God’s call, and then for much of her life she wondered what she laboured for. But she continued.
She does not appear ever to have stopped longing for God, and perhaps it is the longing itself that stood in the place of faith for her, even if it appeared not to be answered.
I think there is hope for all of us in this story. It somehow increases her humanity and her holiness at the same time. I had not previously been a big fan of Mother Teresa. Perhaps I found the legend too saccharine, somehow. Now I find myself believing she really deserves her sainthood.
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Me too! Me too!
And I trust that now she is drinking deeply of wells that she could not always see
Thanks Sue, and welcome, good to hear from you.
It is an amazing story, isn’t it? Who would have guessed that she was carrying so much doubt with her on a daily basis? I find it both humbling and fascinating.
thank you for sharing this story, tess. it seems to come at an appropriate time
. i find it particularly interesting that the focus now, of course, is on her “crisis of faith.” i can only imagine the richness and fullness of belief, too, that must be contained in those journals.
i think through this side of her story, she becomes more a whole person rather than “just” a saint which is both humbling and exciting for me.
Tess, Thank you for sharing your post about this amazing story from St. Mother Teresa – (well, if the church doesn’t give her sainthood, the rest of us will!)
When I first read the story, it made me very angry in that it seemed to portray her as having had no faith just because she wasn’t sure of where God “was” for her. She obviously was faithful even in her doubt.
I can’t question why that marvelous determined little dynamo of a woman did not hear God in her yearning in this life. I know His embrace at her entrance to the next part of her being must surely have taken away all her fear and longing.
It’s all we can hope for isn’t it? To strive for the direction on this side of life and collapse on the other side in the love we’ve known was there all along.
Episcopalians are fond of speaking of Holy Mysteries – the final explanations that no person is capable of unraveling…..
Thank you all for your comments on this, and Sunrise Sister, interesting re the Holy Mysteries. I think we (including me!) spend too much time trying to figure out things we can’t figure out. In this life.