I mentioned that I spent this last weekend co-facilitating a weekend on the Enneagram system of personal development at Turvey Abbey.
The Enneagram teaches that we each have one of nine different types of personality, in effect masks that initially help us cope with what life throws at us but eventually hold us back from full spiritual and personal development. (I know, nine doesn’t sound very many, but there are subtleties within those divisions that would take an entire book to explain.)
One of the great blessings of becoming aware of our own personality type and that of others is that we can begin to understand and forgive our differences: that Susie is not being deliberately obtuse and infuriating, it’s just that her way of looking at life is completely different from our own.
During this particular weekend, we give participants a period of space in which to consider what they have learned, to meditate, walk, sleep, take time in silence or whatever feels right to them. We ask them to come back with a ‘found object’ that speaks to them in some way.
One man brought a piece of gravel from the monastery driveway. Turns out he knows a whole lot about gravel and he explained why he had chosen this humble object. First of all, gravel comes in different sizes and shapes. If you’re buying gravel to cover a driveway, you must make sure it is mixed gravel, otherwise it won’t settle properly.
When you lay stones of mixed sizes and shapes, the pressure of vehicles and foot traffic forces the individual stones together over time. They get pushed into the underlying earth surface and, because they are different, they fit into one complete pattern with the earth, like a jig-saw puzzle, eventually forming a permanent and extremely durable flat surface.
If they were all the same, they wouldn’t lock together like this, would just lie on the surface, get kicked around and form uneven hillocks and ridges.
What a lovely gift this man gave us, celebrating our differences and pointing out how we are all necessary to make up a useful pattern between us.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I like that. I didn’t know a thing about gravel. I am so glad he shared with you.
This sounds similar to Meyers Briggs, and also the elemental personality theory of the middle ages. I really find this healing stuff if used right.
When i was in high school my mom and i went to a retreat that was being given for sunday school teachers, and one workshop was on personality. It changed our thinking quite a bit. We took this little test that told her she was sanguine (air) and i was meloncholy (earth)—such deeply different natures. It made us realize that a great many of our misunderstandings and upsets were becuase we had such different needs and natures, and seeing that deeply impacted…
Paix,
Wendy
Thanks Me and Wendy. Yes Wendy, you’re right, it does have a lot of similarities with Myers Briggs, although to my mind it goes deeper. Interesting to hear about the elemental theory as well.